In something of a departure from the norm for TIE, allow us to present five great albums from last year which you’ve might have missed, compiled by guest poster Jordan Thomas. Agree? Disagree? Confused? Leave a comment below.
Tonight Alive – The Other Side (Sony Music)
Tonight Alive’s first album was a decent pop punk album in a world filled with samey pop-punk bands, this second album however raises them far above the rank and file. While it doesn’t exactly break the mould for the genre it does show exactly how it should be done. The underwhelming cover art aside, this album is stunning; every song is catchy and immediate, with grounded lyrics you can actually relate to and massive, clear sound production (not to mention Jenna’s fine vocal performance). With Paramore having moved onto new grounds these should be your go to guys for your pop-punk fix.
Check out: Lonely Girl
Katatonia – Dethroned and Uncrowned (Kscope)
Dead End Kings was one of the best metal releases of 2012, so how did the band think they could top this? The answer as it happens was to take that same album, strip it of all guitars, aggression and metal and use it to craft a haunting semi acoustic masterpiece. All of the songs work surprisingly well, with the biggest difference being Buildings, with heavy thumping piano replacing the crashing guitar of the original. While the original record was gloomy, this is a whole different league, the songs are slow and dripping with melancholy. it is not a happy record by any stretch, but it is a beautiful one, one which deserves repeated listens to hear all it has to offer.
Check Out: The Racing Heart
Steven Wilson – The Raven that Refused to Sing (and Other Stories) (Kscope)
From his humble beginnings making tapes of supposed forgotten bands to his current status as one of the most revered men in music; Wilson has always been making excellent boundary pushing prog rock. Building on the jazz influences of his last solo outing this album pushes his sound even further away from that of his other works. Extended jazz solos (courtesy of the excellent Theo Travis) are frequent, and though his heavier side is still there it’s more in the background, with gentle melodies being allowed more of a front row. Like Katatonia, it is not an album to cheer you up, but it is one to close your eyes and listen to in mellow bliss.
Check out: Drive Home
Deafheaven – Sunbather (Deathwish)
Take the dreaminess and distorted melodies of shoegaze, and slam it together with the pummelling heaviness of black metal and you get Sunbather. The resulting album is not always an easy listen, but is a worthwhile one. BM screams and drumming are the main meat of the sound, but there’s nearly always melody from the guitars, and slower instrumental parts and spoken word help to break it up into a more manageable listen. Since the album’s release, it has gone almost mainstream, bringing with it the usual hype and backlash, but regardless of whether it is really as important a release as some claim, it is undeniably an excellent one.
Check out: Dream House
Pet Shop Boys – Electric (x2)
I haven’t really kept up with the animal themed store boys lately, my knowledge spans pretty much their heyday period and drops off when they did. However this one seemed positively met so I decided to give it a go. Boy, am I glad I did. It’s obviously PSB, but manages to sound very modern as well. More bass heavy than a lot of their famous stuff, with a strong dance feel running through the album it’s an exhilarating listen, Bolshy and Love Is… are probably the most recognisable stuff on offer, with the interesting additions of pseudo dubstep (Shouting…) and a surprisingly decent piece featuring Example (Thursday) giving the album a nice bit of variation. Whether you be a fan of pop, dance or just the PSB this is an album you should consider.
Some things are more important than an amazing plot. Things like strong character arcs, engaging action set-pieces and a dramatic visual style can really lift a film – unfortunately Catching Fire has none of these things.
It seems a shame to begin on a negative when really, the film isn’t bad by any means, it just feels like what it is: a stepping stone to the next film in the series.
I’m assured by fans of the book series upon which the films are based that a lot of necessary ground work happens in book two to set the stage for book three Mocking Jay (which, incidentally, is being split into two films).
Catching a cold
Unfortunately, for those of us not in the loop, the trilogy/quadrilogy’s second watches very similarly to its first.
This time around, hero Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) is back in her home of District 12, struggling to cope with the daily horror all around her as she lives in a special area for the privileged few who have won, or survived, the Hunger games.
Of course, Katniss’ act of defiance at the close of part one hasn’t gone unnoticed by the masses, and as she and Peeta (who actually impresses a little as a character now) embark on a tour of the districts, revolution is brewing.
President Snow (Donald Sutherland) approves a plan from head honcho of the games Plutarch Heavensbee (Philip Seymour Hoffman) to turn Katniss into the very person she hates in the eyes of the public.
The plan involves a special hunger games, this time for previous winners, and from here the story continues much as before as the tributes begin to brutally kill each other in the games (a lot more off-screen this time, interestingly).
A crisis of identity
This is where the issue with Katniss as a character begins unfortunately. The consistency of her through the various trials she goes through inside and outside the games is all over the place.
One minute she is defiant within an inch of her life, resolute in her belief and nothing can stand in her way. The next she is in tears unsure of what to do or falling for one of the many obvious traps laid out in front of her.
The memories of what happened in the last games haunt her, clearly, but she seems to not have learnt anything from her last experience, making basic mistakes and costing people their lives as a result.
The supporting cast, admittedly, are fairly strong overall. Stanley Tucci is glorious fun as Cesar, while Woody Harrelson brings his role as the uneasy mentor forward from the previous film.
Lenny Kravitz is as unforgettable as ever and the casting of some of the other tributes raises an eyebrow, particularly Jeffrey “call me Felix Lighter” Wright as an overly mentally capable tribute with a penchant for electrocution.
The biggest disappointment from this film is that it could have been so much more if the drama was pushed up in any given scene, but you struggle to care about Katniss’ plight, save after one fairly uninspiring speech which ends in bloodshed (which could, also, have been much more arresting).
The film may stack up better as part of the complete saga, but for those going to the cinema for a memorable experience, it’s hard not to feel short changed.
Online gaming today has more players and costs more money than ever before, so what happens next?
OK, so we can’t predict the future, and we don’t pretend to know any more than you, so don’t read on expecting undeniable facts.
What you can expect (read right to the end, we’re watching you), is our thoughts on where the online side of gaming is going, and what experiences we can expect to encounter.
A digital future
The two next-gen consoles stand primed to clash in the greatest technological showdown of our generation, but what about the games?
One thing is clear – offline-only games are going to be few and far between. The rise of online-only games was felt more this year than ever before, in both successes and catastrophes.
The latest Sim City gave players cause for concern when it’s online requirement backfired spectacularly, but the highest profile casualty has to be Grand Theft Auto Online.
While the game is, if nothing else, incredibly ambitious, Rockstar fell under pressure quickly when there were countless problems with the game – a free addition for players of Grand Theft Auto V.
Weeks after launch, and after several title update patches to try to iron out the issues, GTA Online still feels creaky and glitchy. Not to mention the race to level up has left many players behind, particularly in races where no amount of money can buy car upgrades which they haven’t unlocked yet.
With so much seemingly against online games then, why do publishers and developers keep pushing for more?
It’s not about the money, money, money
Building an online platform, especially from scratch, is a massive undertaking which requires a lot of initial investment and on-going maintenance.
For big publishers like EA and Activision, these sorts of technologies are already on hand and so often can be adapted or acquired more easily, but for many games there isn’t so much backing on tap.
The title which really stands out in this regard is Defiance, whose developer Trion Worlds reportedly invested $70million to get the game up and running for multiplatform release earlier this year.
Despite a shaky start, the game performed well and lived up to nay-sayers who suspected it would never work. Unfortunately it has struggled more recently as the player numbers have began to fall.
Thinking inside the box
Where Defiance has an opportunity to remain relevant is the fact that first and foremost it is a multimedia enterprise, married up with TV network SyFy who have created the companion TV series alongside it.
Could multimedia hold the key to a sustainable future for online gaming?
Microsoft is very well placed for a multimedia revolution and the likes of Netflix (available on all consoles bar the Nintendo ones…) are announcing exclusives and special shows on an increasingly regular basis. Will we see games which tie-in to these net-based shows?
Then there’s the game spin-off TV shows themselves. Halo is working with the well-respected director Steven Spielberg and there is also a live action Need for Speed film in the works starring Aaron Paul of Breaking Bad fame.
Of course tie-ins of the latter sort are nothing new, indeed there have been plenty of embarrassing crossovers in the past, but with the opportunities of distribution through this new round of the consoles all the more smooth can we expect more?
It’s in the game
The way we play has also affected the games themselves, not just driving titles to being always-online (to get those coveted ‘living, breathing worlds’), but in terms of how they are structured and how they play.
Hotly anticipated next gen title Titanfall foregoes a traditional singleplayer campaign, opting instead for a skirmish-based cooperative campaign. The cooperative part is key, since the game wants you to play with others and grow with your characters and your team.
The risk here is that without a singleplayer campaign, players won’t get sucked into the story elements or the lore of the title and end up merely taking it at face value.
In a similar boat is Bungie’s Destiny. Responsible for establishing the Xbox with the original Halo, the company clearly know what they are doing when it comes to gaming.
Bungie simply describes Destiny as an ‘action’ game, suggesting that players will enjoy “a compelling storyline, competitive multiplayer, cooperative gameplay choices, wide open public combat destinations, and third-person community spaces where you can repair and rearm before going out on your next adventure.”
Once again, despite also offering player vs player modes, the main focus is cooperative, one of exploration and creation. It remains to be seen whether players will lose themselves in Bungie’s new world, or if they will just spend their time grinding for new items to use in team deathmatch.
The power needed to keep all of these games afloat is potentially limitless, as countless players around the world all interact, much as they have for years, except with bigger, richer and more dense worlds to explore.
That computing power has to come from somewhere, and it’s likely that cloud-based processing power will become increasingly important, especially as the games grow and change to adapt to their developing environment.
It’s unclear how effective or how close gaming will realistically get to the potential of the technology. The biggest stumbling block, and criticism, particularly in the UK is that internet speeds simply aren’t quick enough yet.
The cloud can take over processing power for things which might be able to be sent back through the web without the player seeing a lag, but for things like fighting games where split-second timing is key it’s unlikely the cloud would ever be able to ‘take over’.
The end game
The opportunities and possibilities of the continuing trend of converging media have the potential to make gaming more mainstream than ever before.
Ubisoft’s The Division sees players fighting in teams over a sprawling, dystopian world map. This game will use multimedia to link into players real-world lives and draw them back in by sending messages straight to their phone or allowing players using tablets to interact directly with players on the console through a meta-game function generally known as ‘commander mode’.
What is key to the success of these sorts of big ideas though, is whether players actually make use of them, and that gaming companies actually make money out of them.
Micro-transactions, DLC and in-game advertising are a whole other side to the funding debate entirely, but what will be the proof of the sorts of innovations above is if they substantially lengthens the lifespan of the game.
What to expect from next gen online gaming then? In a nutshell more of some of the things we know already and plenty more coming besides that. Better warm up the router now…it’s not going to get a lot of rest soon.
There’s only weeks to go before the biggest head-to-head of the year as Microsoft’s Xbox One and Sony’s Playstation 4 go on sale to the masses. Ahead of all that excitement, indulge in some first impressions on what Xbox One has to offer after a special preview event.
There’s no getting away from the fact that Xbox One is a big machine. Designed to be the hub of your living room, it’s size is reminiscent of the original behemoth which its grandfather was back in 2001.
This isn’t a drawback, providing you have the space, and Microsoft clearly seem to have compensated (possibly over-compensated) on cooling, which proved to be such an issue for the Xbox 360.
Power is something which is quite subjective, and in this regard, there’s no denying the One lags behind the Playstation 4 on paper and, as it turns out, in practice.
The debate is bringing the internet to its knees as we speak, so no need to recount it here. Briefly – the One is running games at less that 1080p native resolution, while the PS4 apparently manages it without too much bother. Suffice to say people are unhappy about that.
In reality, when you are engaging with these games, you are not going to notice the difference unless you immediately go from one to the other, and for many the gaming experience goes far further than just how pretty the game looks.
That said, Microsoft has a mountain to climb to fulfil its claims about what the machine can deliver in terms of using the cloud and being truly future-proof for the next 10 years.
Although the basic design of the controller remains from the 360 era, there are a number of changes, updates and innovations within the new controller which push it to the next level.
Rumbles in the triggers are the most obvious change, but the subtlety of how responsive and precise the controller feels is probably the most important long-term improvement.
The balance of the controller remains virtually the same and the lack of battery bulge on the back gives you more space to stretch your fingers.
Jumping out to the guide with the Xbox logo is now more swift, with the screen zooming out to reveal a Windows 8-esque start screen. The start and home buttons have changed too, but it’s difficult to say how significant these adjustments will be until you are living day-to-day with the console because of one very big elephant in the room…
In fact, Kinect is no longer the black sheep for Xbox gamers, since it seems this time around the technology is going to live up the expectations set a few years ago when Project Natal was first announced.
So far we haven’t managed to get our hand on (well, actually NOT on) Kinect 2.0, but the various demos shown off so far definitely seem like more than smoke and mirrors.
The greatest change will be the interface. For some, this new Kinect is their first experience of the technology at all, since before it was dismissed as “foolish arm-flailing”. Now it’s in the box, there’s (almost) no getting away from it, and it definitely seems like the gesture control and even more so the voice control will be very popular.
Diving into the first-party and exclusive launch line-up for these games doesn’t feel Earth-shattering. These games are pretty, in fact in Forza 5‘s case they are astounding, but the gameplay is familiar.
The increase in scale possible with the technology is there, but it’s difficult to appreciate until the developers have begun to get their head around the technology properly. Of course the scope of these games is impressive, but also fairly safe.
Dead Rising 3 (admittedly in demo form) offers only a wall of zombies to keep players occupied. All individually animated and reasonably independent in terms of behaviour and reactions, though zombie mentality in general is more like a mob in any case.
These are all positives, but where the game is already showing itself up is with various animation and spacial awareness issues. For example there only seems to be one ‘finishing’ move with each weapon and the transition between play and these is abrupt.
Equally irritating is that when main character Nick is wielding a park bench, poised and ready to decapitate a would-be brain-muncher, you move around to get a better position and find the bench happily passes through a nearby lamppost.
Auto-aim for lobbing such items is also not quite in tune with the camera, rarely seeming to aim towards the zombie or group you are trying to exact wicked vengeance on.
Forza 5 looks great and handles beautifully, but is it breaking the mould and pushing the envelope as a racing game? No. Things like in-depth car customisation (beyond selecting a colour) or fine tuning of settings as you might expect in real cars – admittedly insanely expensive ones.
Of course these sorts of features may be added later or show themselves when the game comes out, but the point is – these games are the flagship titles for the console, they should be trying something different.
With Ryse: Son Of Rome Microsoft at least have an experience you can’t get anywhere else at the moment. Looks wise it looks solid, especially the particle and fire effects, but the gameplay isn’t as fluid as you would expect when you are controlling a highly skilled warrior.
The swordwork – although slightly overusing slo-mo – looks stylish but is overly simplified to either horizontal or vertical swipes and the control scheme despite being simple is difficult to pick up on a first try.
Try to use any more exotic weapons at your peril. Spears and siege weapons tempt you with their shininess (and often necessity in order to progress, at least in the multiplayer mode we played), but then proceed to not be picked up, not fired and not aimed where you thought they should be. Not to mention they are far too slow to be effective on anything but very long range targets which you couldn’t take out any other way.
Returning brawler Killer Instinct has all the style and production value you would expect but very little rudimentary logic in its control scheme (where on Earth is block?!), which makes it a frustrating challenge for first-time fighter fans.
In all it’s third-party titles like Battlefield 4 which over the spectacle that you might hope for from the launch of a console, which is why it’s a shame the hotly-anticipated exclusive Titanfall won’t drop until next year.
Always online, then not, Kinect compulsory, then not. The One currently sits in an easy place as we approach what should be its shining moment.
Most consumers will be oblivious to the to-ings and fro-ings, getting the download from their local GAME staff member on the day, but for those well-invested in the brand, it’s been an uneasy few months.
The extremity both of the u-turns (perceived or literal) and the PR cock-ups from MS execs which often followed, has severely tested the fanbase, leading some to jump ship and many more to reconsider where they had placed their faith.
In the coming weeks and months the vision which MS tried to explain back in May will begin to come to life. How true it will stay to what was originally conceived remains to be seen.
There are plenty of reasons to be optimistic about the One’s chances though, despite all the uncertainty.
The features originally talked about and then canned could well return. The quality and fidelity of both games and graphics will improve, and already they are looking pretty tasty – even if they aren’t blowing your socks off.
Most significant of all of course, is the service which binds everything together – Xbox Live. Microsoft have an opportunity to push the community aspect of what they have created over the past decade.
Friends lists expand and include Twitter-like followers, more interconnected play over different devices and better access to friends than ever before.
It’s almost a shame that cross-generational gameplay isn’t possible, even if it was on something simple like Bomberman or Uno, because there could be an opportunity to tap into the browser/tablet games market through Live itself that way.
Once multiplayer numbers are beefed up and the community divided into like-minded individuals so that the hardcore competitive people can play together while the more groovy laid-back types can take their time with things, for example, there is the makings of a truly powerful web of people.
On top of that there is the potential of ‘the cloud’, but it all seems t0o intangible and vague at the moment to get a real sense of how that could shake things up.
In all, there are a lot of reasons to be excited about this console, but another, smaller number to be cautious about.
What’s key to remember though, is that it is early days, there is a lot of potential out there and even if the Playstation 4 does ‘win’ the war – i.e. get more players, more power and more games – it won’t take away from the fact that there are still some excellent experiences which are going to be only on Xbox One.
Besides if you wanted everything, with all its bells and whistles shining like the sun, then you would have switched to a gaming PC by now anyway.
“Flint, this is amazing! And designing the ice cream to accumulate into scoops? I don’t know how you’re gonna top this!?”
How about with hot fudge? Oh you’ve heard it before? Well..How about with a sentient strawberry with big green eyes that also poops jam? And billions of food puns? You’ll need to have quite an appetite for the overdosingly sweet and cutesy cutesy, but ride out the spaghetti storm and Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 will not leave a bitter taste in your mouth.
It’s every food-loving child’s (or unashamed child at heart’s) favourite film franchise..ABOUT FOOD. Get ready for the sugar rush of your life as your eyes feast on Sony Pictures Animation’s deliciousness, in glorious gut-busting 3D.
With all your favourites from last time: Flint Lockwood, Sam Sparks, Steve, Tim Lockwood, ‘Baby’ Brent McHale and Officer Earl Devereax (sadly, no macaroni head man…) and some really demonic looking pickles, Cloudy 2 picks up directly from where we left the gang – in the tasty, post-apocalyptic chaos of Swallow Falls.
Flint and his friends find themselves having to leave town after his childhood idol, Chester V (Will Forte) and his Live Corp Company of awesome inventors and scientists begin a mass clean up
Soon after leaving Flint discovers that the FLSMDFR (Flint Lockwood’s Diatonic Super Mutating Dynamic Food Replicator) is still functioning and creating delightfully imaginative mutant foodimals like Shrimpanzies, toastitoes and Hippotatomus! Armed with his friends he returns to Swallow Falls to find and shut down the FLSMDFR and, of course, save the world.
With a plot engaging for both adults and kids alike there are plenty of good laugh out loud moments, silliness is the name of the game! However there are some deeper themes that emerge occasionally as Flint deals with his bullied past, how he chooses a role model, the choice of studying the foodimals or destroying them and how he values his friendships.
All the lessons and trials he faces are served up in a way that differs from the deeply moving and heartstring pulling Pixaresque films out there and instead goes for a light hearted approach that still hits hard. Without the need of nearly killing off the whole cast in a blazing inferno. (No, I’m still not over Toy Story 3!!!)
With most of the original cast from the first film, (save Terry Crews replacing MR.T as Officer Earl) Bill Hader, Anna Faris and James Caan effortlessly glide back into character and bring to life the animation on screen. The dialogue is fast paced and mirrors the constant slap-stick and flamboyant gesticulations escalating in the fantastic food fight finale.
The design of the characters and their erratic movements, extreme facial expressions and adventures with the foodimals are highly amusing and even go as far as to reflect films gone by. Like the huge behemoth spring onions that mimic the brontosaurus scene from Jurassic Park.
All in all I would definitely urge all of who have not yet seen this film to do so, (and buy the DVD of part 1!) as it is a film I will be carrying with me in my imagination and heart alongside the original. For me, a self-confessed foodie and lover of cute I was completely obliged to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 and love every spoonful of it.
Topping The Avengers (or Avengers Assemble, if you must) was never going to be easy, and there’s no doubt Thor: The Dark World lives in the shadow of the events of the biggest grossing superhero flick of all time, but at least it has a really good go.
The gang’s all here: Thor, Loki, Odin…and Natalie Portman – OK, Jane Foster… Overall the cast performs well but it’s difficult to be sold by a supposedly highly intelligent scientist who things it’s a good idea, when she finds herself in a random place in the middle of nowhere, to touch the strange goo-like red substance which is moving around of its own accord.
Anthony Hopkins earns his place returning as Odin, bringing a reminder of how great power and the weary of war can change great men into the very thing they despise. Really it’s his wife Frigga (Rene Russo) who steals the show in the briefest of moments and she shows her true colours as more than just a queen.
Of the characters, most supporting players, such as Kat Dennings’ Darcy, get a decent amount of screen time and some good laughs or at least justify themselves. Sadly it’s the villain, unrecognisably played by Christopher Eccleston, who has no depth or complexity to him – you’d think after hanging around for 5000 years or more he’d have something interesting to say but there is no character beyond raw emotion.
More than once, the film strays close to the feeling of the original Star Wars films. There’s a villain who speaks with wrath, is pale and wields great power, his dark servant who does his bidding without question and the feeling of the torch being past between the wise old man and the youngster who stands up to evil despite massive odds.
This is not necessarily a bad thing, in fact the parrallels with themes such as magic and space together, the frantic lazer battles juxtaposing the more traditional aspects of life on Asguard. Unfortunately there isn’t the same driving narrative surging through the film, and with Thor’s own lessons learned in the first film – little to encourage you to grow with the character.
What is a fantastic though is that the film has all the humour, all the action and, best of all, Loki. Since the first film, Tom Hiddleston has taken Loki on a journey which broke out of Thor into the Avengers, and now struggles to fit back in. For much of the plot he is sidelined, confined to the dungeons out of sight.
Despite this – every single time you see him on screen you are entertained. He is gifted with the best lines, the best timing and the strongest emotional story arc of any character. He could have been used more, think of the role of Gene Hackman in Superman II, but the team were cautious and merely held him back – setting things up for fireworks in Thor 3.
The story has some fun twists and turns, and even gives Idris Elba a chance to shine as we know he can (another character who deserves to go further in the next instalment), but overall plays it safe.
The end result is a really really good film, but not quite as high as the standard set by so many Marvel flicks brought out over the past few years. Thor is a strong character, and Chris Hemsworth brings him to life brilliantly, but his sheer spectacle makes him the most un-relatable Marvel hero, and so it is more difficult to connect with the film.
In all Thor: The Dark World isn’t the moody sequel you might expect in this post-Dark Knight world, ironically it’s actually more comedic than the first film, but it does tick all the boxes for fans of both action films and comic book tales.
If you’re in the mood for a great film, this is a solid choice, but if you are looking for something unforgettable, you’ll be left wanting.
Since it’s almost Halloween* we thought it would be fun to turn our thoughts to the darkness within, namely the serial killers of the silver screen and what we can learn from their successes and failures.
(*Disclaimer – Depending on when this is actually being read it may or may not be Halloween, This Is Entertainment makes no apologies for diminished enjoyment of the following editorial. Also, killing people is bad, so no, you may not try this at home.)
From Dexter to Hannibal, Red John to Henry Grace, there are many killers at large on the box and all of them have their own methods, motives and characteristics which help them succeed, or lead to their downfall.
Keep your friends closer
All serial killers have something in common, aside from just being murderers, in that the act of taking a life has a purpose.
It might be because they ‘need’ to kill, it might be because they enjoy it or because they want to show everyone how clever they are. Regardless of how they feel about killing, almost all need a cover story to maintain the appearance of a ‘normal’ life.
For Dexter Morgan, the titular anti-hero of Dexter (Michael C. Hall), his cover comes both in the form of his job and his sister Debra. Staying close to Debra is what helps to hide Dexter’s darkness from the rest of the world.
In this year’s TV adaptation of Red Dragon – Hannibal – the character of Hannibal Lecter remains hidden by getting close to the person most likely to find him.
The impression of the person they are, the disguise, is almost as important as their true self. This is one thing you must master, to be in with any chance at all.
Don’t bite off more than you chew
When killers worlds start to unravel is when they are trying to do too many things at once.
A pretty important tip for any budding serial killer is to only try to take out one victim at a time.
Some of the hairiest situation for Dexter have been when he has to kill another person to cover up the first murder.
Control is very important for these sociopathic personalities, and as soon as things start to get out of hand, you will quickly see them get more brutal and frantic.
Make sure you have a plan and stick to it, even if that voice in your head says differently.
Be wary of exploring new things
With an incapability to feel genuine emotion, there is always a temptation for serial killers to yearn after what they cannot have.
Often from their perspective, things like love, attachment, family are all distractions which make things more complicated, and hold little worth in the long run.
In reality the success at which these aspects can offer value varies greatly, but bigger social topics such as religion, addiction, celebrity have numerous new experiences and possibilities attached to them.
However tempting it might be to believe that these things can give you a way out, don’t be fooled – for a serial killer, almost everything comes back to secrets.
Always get rid of the evidence
If you don’t fancy eating them, make sure you are well-versed in how one might go and hide a body, since the past is always poised to come back to haunt you at any moment in unexpected ways.
It may be much to have a wide array of recipes to cater for whatever organ you fancy cooking up that particular day, but you do have to have a system. Do you keep everything together? Store it for a while or dispose of it all at once?
There’s no absolute certain way to not have bodies traced back to you, but some care and patience goes a long way. After all, there’s more than enough CSI-type shows looking for your DNA.
Don’t get caught
Learning how the police work, or even steering the investigation yourself, are sure-fire ways to stay ahead of the game.
Of course, the more you learn, the more they have to learn to catch up and the harder the job of remaining hidden becomes.
Never get sucked into sacrificing anything for anyone but yourself, in the end it’s you against the world. If a few more people have to die to get you out of a situation then what’s a few more bodies? What’s one more?
Obviously, the way to really survive is to make it on TV. There you can be immortalised for years to come with all of your great achievements laid out. The reason that serial killers continue to be popular, even rooted for and loved despite being horrible, evil people, is because they fascinate us.
It is difficult to understand or appreciate why or how someone would be so destructive as to dissect so many people’s lives. Not being able to feel emotions that we all experience daily for ridiculous things – that rush of fear as you almost slip on the way down the stairs for example – serial killers are something which we all in some ways admire, even at the same time as being appalled by them.
You can’t imagine rooting for Darth Vader or Skelator in quite the same way as you want these people to get away with it. In many ways it’s the birthplace of ‘the lovable villain’. Can you imagine the attendees at Comic Con cheering Loki if it wasn’t for Tom Hiddleston’s charisma and charm?
Perhaps this is also where the love for Halloween itself comes from. The excitement and the fun of mocking the darkness and the evil with chocolate treats and silly costumes makes it all seem less frightening and less horrific, when really if you look closer and see the truth of what it represents you would run for your life.
So the next time you think it would just be easier to kill everyone and be done with it, throwing morals and reason out the window in favour of a simpler life of black and white, good and evil. But remember, in the end, it isn’t quite so simple as that.
What are your top tips? Leave a comment below, but be careful not to give away too much…